Monday, April 21, 2008

The diet

Did y'all see/feel the weather this weekend in Buffalo??? It was 88 degrees on Saturday and SUNNY all weekend. It was AMAZING.

The only problem? NONE of my summer clothes fit.

I have apparently gained A LOT of weight over the winter. Depressing, right?


I gave away all my big clothes because I swore I would NEVER be this big again.

2 summers ago I could wear a bikini and look good. This summer, my "fat" swimsuit even looks bad.

I was so disgusted with myself... still am. I cannot believe I let myself go this much. I have no idea how much I weigh but I do know that I hit the 215 mark at my last doc appt. Which was in January. I have been trying to lose since then by giving up candy, sweets etc.... That alone was enough last time I lost weight. It didn't work this time. I don't think I have gained anymore weight since January, if anything I have stayed. BUT, its still enough to make my size 16 jeans not fit me anymore. Well, they fit, but I have a slight muffin top, which is gross and enough to make me want to hurl.

SO, I decided to change that.

As of today, I am doing what Ladiebug suggested. I haven't gone grocery shopping yet, but I have enough change in mind to add atleast 45 mins of exercise in the morning and drinking only 2 glasses of diet pop per day and filling in the blanks with water. The rest is just moderation in food until I can go grocery shopping.

The best part? Jesse agreed to do this with me. Thank you jebus.

I went into walmart to buy a clothes for the kids and thought I would try on some shorts for me since my shorts don't fit anymore and I bought a size 19. They are slightly big. But I wanted something comfy to wear around the house and outside with the kids. Something that was presentable and NOT my sweatshorts that I normally wear around the house. NINETEEN. That was enough to make me bawl my eyes out in the dressing room. Well that and the fact that I actually purchased some clothing from walmart. I frickin hate that store. But hey, they were only 10 bucks.

So thats the story. I am disgusting and cannot for the life of me figure out what the hell happened. In talking to Lindsy, she suggested that maybe I am not eating enough. And I am guessing she's right. I only eat when I am starving and by dinner time when I get a full meal, it sticks to my stomach and ass like gum.

I seriously cannot believe I just posted my weight on the web for all to see.


carry on.


Special K said...

Hugs girl! You can do it! You did it before you can do it again! I did it and if I can anyone can, seriously.
I put on a size 12 the other day and not only did it fit but felt wonderful and not binding. That may be it for me. Size 12 and some people might want to shoot for a 6 but I am tall and not a tiny boned person so it is not realistic.
I hit 215 at one point and that is exactly when I hit my "going to do something about it RIGHT NOW plateau" too.
19, I think that is a weird size and seriously believe it to be smaller than an 18 so don't sweat Wal-mart and their weird sizes. Isn't that a Junior size as well? You are gorgeous no matter what a tag says, do it for the health reasons and the feel good reasons. I am glad Jessie is supporting you too!

Kirsten said...

I agree with K ... you've done it before, you can do it again!

Ladiebug said...

You definately can do it again! Anything you put your mind to you get done!
I agree I think 19 is a junior size at Walmart.Which is smaller so dont feel bad but keep up with the great work! Walking Kevin to school is a great way to start the day! I know walking in the am as soon as I can keeps me motivated all day long!!!