Eff it.

Wow.....

I know its been awhile. Honestly, not much going on. I know... boring, right?

Have y'all seen the snow we have gotten over the last few days??? UGH. I am really tired of the white stuff and long to get out my denim skirts and cute tanks and adorable flip flops..... Is it July yet????

Things here have been ok. Kids are all doing great. Although Kevin is grounded again for hitting his sister.... one week no TV. It's killing him too..... yesterday he had off school for MLK day and he was pacing... literally PACING. But, he finished the book "Inkheart"... all 600 pages of it. I am so proud of him for tackeling that huge book. He loved it too, wants to get the 2nd and 3rd book too.... LOVE THAT...... he's so smart, I just don't get why he doesn't get that hitting is NEVER the answer when it comes to his sister......

Things with Jesse have sucked. Things are back to where they were...... I finally let out my frustrations to him on Sunday night and he just sat there and blamed me. I told him I want some appreciation for what I do around here and he just said "Ok, you go to work for me"......

He works 6:30 to 3pm, comes home and showers and then parks his ass on the bed ( because we STILL don't have a couch ) and thats where he stays while i clean up, make dinner, take care of the kids, clean up after dinner, clean up after the cats..... blah blah blah. He sleeps all the time. Again, while I do x, y, and z.

Im just tired of it.

And the cat situation is out of control again. TWENTY. yes, 20 cats are in this house. Not only are they fighting all the time but they are dirty as fuck and I am cleaning ALL THE GOD DAMNED TIME. I hate it. School starts this week, I won't have time to BS around with this shit. That and the fact that every 2 days he is buying a 15.00 bag of food. FIFTEEN DOLLARS..... the same size bag, I bought DAD's food last night for 2.69........ he tried to throw a fit and say "it will give them all diarrea....... I said OH WELL. I can't get near him in bed because there isn't a time where he doesn't have ATLEAST 8 cats on him. They sleep in between us. on top of him. under the blankets........ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ive had it.

I finally broke about my resentment on paying his tickets that he got in my name too. He said "well why didn't you make me pay for them".... because it all comes out of the same place jerk!!!! UGH... JUST DONT GET TICKETS! that was my point. He didn't get it.

Fuck him. I am over it.

I have done nothing but pay ( financially and otherwise ) for his mistakes. It's making me crazy. How much is enough?????

and he is REALLY hard on Kevin too. Kevin does the dishwasher as one of his chores. And more often than not we find dishes that have a little dried up dishwasher crud on them..... well, everytime J finds a dish like that he says to me "tell YOUR son he better start doing this right"..... but awhile ago I found a few plates in the cupboard that JESSE unloaded and said to him "does this look clean to you?" and he says to me back "you let your son do it, I thought I could too" and at the time, it was a joke..... so I brought it up to him when he bitched about Kevin again the other day.... he was like NO YOU DIDNT FIND DIRTY DISHES WHEN I UNLOADED.... um yes, I did. NOTHING is EVER his fault.

EVER.

I hate that too.

All I want is appreciation, love and maybe a little help. Is that too much? oh and to be honest with me, because he is STILL talking to that girl from school...........