Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Wow, I don't even know where to start.

Jesse and I have had a million conversations about what I am going to do. I have told him that I am leaving him....... I have told him that I don't love him anymore...... I have told him that I have a friend that I care A LOT about.......

The responses I get???? In order of the things I told him above.

I don't want Justin to grow up with a broken home.

Don't you think every couple goes through this????

Im not very happy about it, but what can I do?

oy vay.

This is A LOT harder than I thought.

I don't want to hurt him. I just want some sort of happiness and right now that happiness comes with Bob and his kids. He is amazing in EVERY way. He makes me laugh, smile and feel amazing with everything he says to me. He is so sweet and so caring towards my kids...... god I just want a GOOD father for my kids.

ya know????

I want someone who won't be mad when the kids are cutting paper. I want someone who would be happy to see Kevin and Bailee come home from a weekend away. I want someone who won't ignore them..... all of them.

Is that so bad?

And right now, Bob is amazing and the kids actually ASK when he's coming over. Jesse doesn't stand a chance in these kids' eyes as long as Bob is around.


Bob spent the day here yesterday. He got out of work around 7am and came right over. He was here until 3:15pm...... he had to go back to work at 7pm and work until 7am so he needed sleep. Otherwise I would have kept him here all frickin day. God he is amazing.

Other than the Bob thing, not too much going on here. I am trying to get the kids ready for school but of course Allyn had to go and fuck that whole thing up.

I got child support for August on the 8th. I paid my half the rent, got some groceries and got the children each 3 outfits for the first week of school. I also got them both sneakers. That pretty much ate up all the money.......

The reason I only got them 3 outfits was because child support was due again on 9/6 and I thought that on that weekend I could go get them 3 more outfits and maybe a pair of dressier shoes. The kids start school on 9/3. See my logic???

So I would pay my half the rent and get the kids set for a full week of school. Supplies are coming out of Jesse's check this week. Which means we will be a-ok, right????


See, Allyn has been driving a company truck since the spring. He has known that he would need to get his own car by the end of the summer since then. So, what does he do???? He buys a motorcycle. He tells me that he bought it because he needed to get something to drive to and from work after August 31.

So this past week I check with him about the date of child support. He asks me to sign online.

ugh, here we go.

So he says he was going to ask if he could pay child support on 9/19 instead. Why? because he has to buy a car by the end of the summer.

So I ask, innocently.... what about your motorcycle? can't you drive that? I have to get the kids the rest of their school stuff.

He FLEW off the handle at me. OMG. He FREAKED. He said its none of my business and that I KNEW that the kids needed school stuff for the whole summer and WHY is it coming up now.


So I say, I didn't mean to make you angry. I was just asking.

He flew off the handle again.

Saying things like he is tired of supporting 2 extra people in this house and that I am not doing my share in raising these kids.

whoah again.....

I get mad and say..... ok, Im going to go now.

and I end the IM session.


So he texts me and says "the worst part is that you don't even know why I am mad"


then he texts me and says if I want to talk to sign back online.

So I do ( mistake, I know )

and he goes on and on about how he's tired of supporting J and J and that his money needs to be used for the kids and the kids only and that this shit had to stop.

So apparently, his 775 dollars per month is supporting this family of 5, didn't you know that?????

Cuz that's what it takes to support a family of 5.


Fuck him

So he has been an asshole to me ever since.

He wants to pay cs in the middle of the month. Ok fine. Im ok with that. But he didn't have to be an ass about it.


God love ex husbands.......

Oh and he's now fucking TWO secretaries from work.


Special K said...

OK wow. I can't believe Jesse's reactions. Kinda sad..and weird. As for Allyn he knows he can't "DESIGNATE" where funds go. Your JOB is to make sure the kids have clothes on their back, food in their mouth, utilities to keep them comfortable and a roof over their heads. HIS money helps keep that possible. That is all.
I get so pissed at men and the child support issue. Do they think that he could even raise those kids on that? Does he think he would just get a designated amount that it would take care of it all!? I am guessing $751 wouldn't even pay rent up there.
OK I am done.
And I am not so good, I will email you laterz!

Kirsten said...

well like Kay said, we love you and support you. screw Allyn and Jessee.

I'm gonig through the same thing with rob and money nad him trying to tell me i'm not using it for Clay ... ugh.

Back to your original statement. Ex husbands suck. enough said

Ladiebug said...

Sounds like he knows too much on how you spend the money for your kids. Um if you were on your own $751 wouldnt support all of you so if you werent with J you wouldnt have a roof over your heads right now so he should be grateful in that sense becuase there is no way in hell he would have time to screw 2 secretaries at his GF while taking care of his kids full time.....ugh that guy really pisses me off. So does Jesse's response...almost sounds like he is onlyt with you so J doesnt have a solit family and he just doesnt have the energy to end it himself.....

Christine said...

I came via special k and need to catch up on your situation when I get a minute.

In any case, it sounds like you're trying to keep a bunch of balls up in the air. Good luck with that.