Wow, I don't even know where to start.
Jesse and I have had a million conversations about what I am going to do. I have told him that I am leaving him....... I have told him that I don't love him anymore...... I have told him that I have a friend that I care A LOT about.......
The responses I get???? In order of the things I told him above.
I don't want Justin to grow up with a broken home.
Don't you think every couple goes through this????
Im not very happy about it, but what can I do?
This is A LOT harder than I thought.
I don't want to hurt him. I just want some sort of happiness and right now that happiness comes with Bob and his kids. He is amazing in EVERY way. He makes me laugh, smile and feel amazing with everything he says to me. He is so sweet and so caring towards my kids...... god I just want a GOOD father for my kids.
I want someone who won't be mad when the kids are cutting paper. I want someone who would be happy to see Kevin and Bailee come home from a weekend away. I want someone who won't ignore them..... all of them.
Is that so bad?
And right now, Bob is amazing and the kids actually ASK when he's coming over. Jesse doesn't stand a chance in these kids' eyes as long as Bob is around.
Bob spent the day here yesterday. He got out of work around 7am and came right over. He was here until 3:15pm...... he had to go back to work at 7pm and work until 7am so he needed sleep. Otherwise I would have kept him here all frickin day. God he is amazing.
Other than the Bob thing, not too much going on here. I am trying to get the kids ready for school but of course Allyn had to go and fuck that whole thing up.
I got child support for August on the 8th. I paid my half the rent, got some groceries and got the children each 3 outfits for the first week of school. I also got them both sneakers. That pretty much ate up all the money.......
The reason I only got them 3 outfits was because child support was due again on 9/6 and I thought that on that weekend I could go get them 3 more outfits and maybe a pair of dressier shoes. The kids start school on 9/3. See my logic???
So I would pay my half the rent and get the kids set for a full week of school. Supplies are coming out of Jesse's check this week. Which means we will be a-ok, right????
See, Allyn has been driving a company truck since the spring. He has known that he would need to get his own car by the end of the summer since then. So, what does he do???? He buys a motorcycle. He tells me that he bought it because he needed to get something to drive to and from work after August 31.
So this past week I check with him about the date of child support. He asks me to sign online.
ugh, here we go.
So he says he was going to ask if he could pay child support on 9/19 instead. Why? because he has to buy a car by the end of the summer.
So I ask, innocently.... what about your motorcycle? can't you drive that? I have to get the kids the rest of their school stuff.
He FLEW off the handle at me. OMG. He FREAKED. He said its none of my business and that I KNEW that the kids needed school stuff for the whole summer and WHY is it coming up now.
So I say, I didn't mean to make you angry. I was just asking.
He flew off the handle again.
Saying things like he is tired of supporting 2 extra people in this house and that I am not doing my share in raising these kids.
I get mad and say..... ok, Im going to go now.
and I end the IM session.
So he texts me and says "the worst part is that you don't even know why I am mad"
then he texts me and says if I want to talk to sign back online.
So I do ( mistake, I know )
and he goes on and on about how he's tired of supporting J and J and that his money needs to be used for the kids and the kids only and that this shit had to stop.
So apparently, his 775 dollars per month is supporting this family of 5, didn't you know that?????
Cuz that's what it takes to support a family of 5.
yeah MAYBE IF WE LIVED ON THE STREETS!
So he has been an asshole to me ever since.
He wants to pay cs in the middle of the month. Ok fine. Im ok with that. But he didn't have to be an ass about it.
God love ex husbands.......
Oh and he's now fucking TWO secretaries from work.